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westfam11
Forums Member
Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Posts: 562
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#1 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 00:24
I have just made a new lens and I would
really like to get an opinion from fellow
squids.
I would like constructive criticism if
there is anything I should or could
do differently or better.
squidoo.com/top-luxury-watches
Thanks in advance,
Becky
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mountainmom5
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 3097
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#2 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 09:44
Great job Becky! I rated and favorited it. You have your keywords in the right places. One suggestion I have to have something in the bio lens with your keywords as well.
Have you checked to see what they have on cj.com with watches? I only mention that as there might be a good website there on watches to promote on your lens for the ones that don't want to buy thru Amazon...
Just a thought.
Otherwise it looks great.
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westfam11
Forums Member
Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Posts: 562
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#3 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 09:47
mountainmom5,
Thanks so much for your ideas, I really appreciate them.
That is my weakness, my bio area, I never really figured out
what to put there. I will work on that.
Thanks again,
Becky
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mountainmom5
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 3097
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#4 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 10:36
Oh, just something like, "Still looking for that perfect gift for that special friend? These deluxe watches will make anyone happy - and show them just how special they are to you."
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A8ch
Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 937
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#5 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 11:15
Nice lens Becky, and I like the presentation style you used. In one module you would engage readers with content on a particular class of watch, and then immediately follow it with a module displaying watches of that type they can buy. That's cool!
Some of those watches cost a king's ransom!
Hermas
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westfam11
Forums Member
Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Posts: 562
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#6 · Posted: 12 Oct 2009 15:44
Thanks A8ch. I appreciate you taking the time to
look at it.
Becky
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Newbie Shield
Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 2226
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#7 · Posted: 15 Oct 2009 17:08
Hi Becky,
I interacted on your lenses.
Your lens looks good.
I do have a couple tips.
1. In the opening sentence change the word "knowledge" to "knowledgeable".
2. Create a module right after the intro module that introduces Casual Luxury Watches just as you have with the other types of watches. This will also move down the initial attempt to monetize, which seems to appear a bit early (a bit too aggressive).
Else the lens is pretty good.
Something else you might consider: since the prices of the watches are quite significant, can you add any personal testimonial or some sort of reasoning or perhaps a little more personality into the sales pitches?
You might try to find some videos with classy men and women smiling and looking regal while dining in a fancy restaurant and wearing one of the watches. Or perhaps a video on the quality of luxury watches. The pictures are a good start.
Because of the price tags on the timepieces (I like that word), you might have to lengthen the lens quite a bit. The short lens format is better suited to inexpensive items.
Good job,
~Newbie Shield~
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westfam11
Forums Member
Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Posts: 562
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#8 · Posted: 15 Oct 2009 17:59
Newbie Shield,
Thanks for your observations and tips. I will work on it.
I appreciate you taking the time to look at it and critique it.
Thanks again,
Becky
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