| Author |
Message |
pjworker
Member
Joined: 14 May 2008
Posts: 20
|
# Posted: 14 May 2008 10:36
Reply
I am a freelance writer and also produce unique content for two different companies. I work very hard and put more hours in than on my previous off-line job. The thing is, my family doesn't get that I'm working and my husband's family treats me like I'm just lazy. His sister keeps making snide comments about how I should have time to have a spotless house since I don't have a "real" job. How do you guys deal with this type of thing?
__________________
|
mountainmom5
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 1781
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 10:39 · Edited by: mountainmom5
Reply
Just stick it out - usually once they see the money, they back off really fast, but until then you really have nothing to prove to them...
I used to feel quilty about being able to stay at home while others were out slaving away but not anymore - what you are building with your online businesswill last you a lifetime and if they lose their jobs, they are done for...
I just wish I had a spotless house for them to talk about - mine would take a look at my house and were more apt to say " You are at home all day - what DO you do...?" lol 
__________________
|
westfam11
Member
Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Posts: 468
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 11:22
Reply
You can't really deal with this type of thing. Others either totally don't "get it" or they are just plain jealous that you are able to do something that they can't do or aren't willing to do. And the snide remarks is their way of dealing with it. I know it is hurtful but if you are happy with what you are doing and very glad to be at home that would make up for the hurt feelings if it was my case.
The problem I encounter most is family wanting me to run errands, take them to the airport, wait at their house, etc. since I am at home all day. I usually do it for them too. (Go figure).
Becky
__________________
|
MedTranHome
Member
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 83
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 12:20
Reply
I've never had that problem. My family knows that my job is a "real" job and they respect my time spent working on it.
I think anyone who thinks otherwise is not up to date on telecommuting and needs some education on the subject.
__________________
|
A8ch
Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 560
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 17:44
Reply
It sounds to me like your family still identifies with the traditional offline job environment, and hasn't yet expanded their mindset to embrace the economy, convenience and opportunity that telecommuting offers.
Until they come around to accepting your new work routine, you'll have to set the tone in your household and get your family to take you seriously.
Here are a few quick suggestions:
1. Ask your husband to show you more support. Make him understand that working from home as a writer is no less serious, demanding or important than if you were doing it from an office downtown. The only things that's different is your location.
2. Once you've gotten him to support you, ask him to go a step further and tell his family to lay of the snide remarks. It's neither funny nor cute, it's rude.
3. Establish times when you are "at work" and are not to be disturbed. So, if someone visits or telephones during those times, let them know you are busy and can't chat at the moment.
Just stick to your guns and keep on writing. When the big checks start rolling in, and others begin to see the fruits of your labor, they'll have more respect for your time and for what you do.
Hermas
__________________
|
jschuman
Member
Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Posts: 164
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 18:10
Reply
I have never had this problem. Most people I know including my relatives wish they could stay at home and work full time like me. Just stick with it and eventually they will see how well you are doing and support you!
__________________
|
gchildren
Member
Joined: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 41
|
# Posted: 15 May 2008 19:41
Reply
I have never experienced a lack of support from my family like you are having. It must make your effort that much harder.
As has been mentioned, in time you should gain the respect that you deserve when everyone begins to see the "fruits of your labor."
Personally, when I have encountered obstacles like this, I try to communicate with the individuals. Give them an opportunity to express their position and then try to communicate your perceptions and ask if there is a way that all of you might work this out.
Try to find the middle ground in this situation.
I do wish you good luck in trying to resolve this issue.
John
__________________
|
CSGWAHM
Member
Joined: 30 Dec 2006
Posts: 272
|
# Posted: 16 May 2008 07:41
Reply
Basically it's none of her business. I know it's hard when people don't get it, but you have nothing to explain or prove to them. This is a decision you and your husband are happy with, that's all that is important. When she makes a negative comment, turn it into a positive.....tell her it's great being home, you thoroughly enjoy it and then smile. Does your husband fully support you? If so, then he should tell her to lay off the snide remarks and let them know that he supports you. When people make comments like that, they're usually insecure themselves, making rude comments help them feel better about themselves. She's possibly jealous that she can't be home all day. I would just keep your chin up, work on your business and before you know it, you and your husband will be enjoying the fruits of your labor. I wish you the best!
__________________
Lots of Debt?
Behind on Your Mortgage?
We Can Help, Call Us
717-754-0745
|
Ozma
Member
Joined: 16 May 2008
Posts: 12
|
# Posted: 16 May 2008 19:04
Reply
Yeah, a lot of people think I don't work, either, when they see that I'm at home on the computer half the day. I can't wait to get my businesses to the place I want them, and cut back on time on the computer, and walk down to the beach more often!!!
__________________
|
Homeboy
Member
Joined: 4 Feb 2008
Posts: 219
|
# Posted: 18 May 2008 17:56
Reply
Ugh, don't worry, I get the same thing all the time. 
People don't take it seriously because they just don't understand, and trying to explain it to them is like talking to a brick wall sometimes. My family is almost too embarrassed to talk about me to other people. Terrified, in fact. Because inevitably the conversation turns to what I do for a living, and then the discussion is reduced to ums and aaahs, and looks of smug disdain.....
Anyway, I survive by reminding myself that it's not my goal in life to impress people. So they can think what they like. I know I'm right, and that's all that really matters, not their misinformed opinions and tiny bank accounts..... 
__________________
|
pjworker
Member
Joined: 14 May 2008
Posts: 20
|
# Posted: 18 May 2008 22:20
Reply
Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this issue. Believe it or not, that helps! My husband is very supportive - I haven't told him about his sister's comments. I was hoping to keep the issue low key as her and I have had our differences with other things too. A lot of the problem is that they don't get how much work writing can be. When they interrupt my train of thought, it can be very hard to get back in the zone for me.
__________________
|
Cakmmes
Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 18
|
# Posted: 21 May 2008 14:57
Reply
I had to convince my wife's family that what i was doing wasn't just a waste of time. The way I handled it was to tell them that I know what's best for my family and they should at least have a little faith in me. Just because it may not be "normal" doesn't mean that it is all B.S.
I believe that there is always a better way and most of the time, to most people, it may be unconventional. But like many of you have stated before, keep your chin up and press on.
__________________
|
Morgana
Member
Joined: 1 Apr 2008
Posts: 12
|
# Posted: 21 May 2008 17:59
Reply
I think some one nailed it earlier - they just don't get it, and there is no way you can "make" them "get it".
What you can do is be strong and believe in yourself and proud of what you are doing.
It would be nice if they supported you, but if they don't, be strong and proud and don't let their thoughts deter you.
Cheers!
Morgana
__________________
|
pcwork
Member
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Posts: 1595
|
# Posted: 21 May 2008 23:19
Reply
When you start earning serious money, people start taking you seriously.
__________________
|
freecashhappens
Member
Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 41
|
# Posted: 22 May 2008 00:33
Reply
I get the same stuff from my wife and family.
It's sad, but you have got to understand that most people are trained to do what the others do. Go to work in an outside job. I still work a traditional job, but I can't wait for the day when I don't have to.
Keep the faith and never, ever let the dream die...
__________________
|
successful2008
Member
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 195
|
# Posted: 22 May 2008 07:52
Reply
Good morning PJ,
You're doing what you're doing to better your family financially, If your family can't understand that, then you need not discuss it with them. When your in a buainess, positive energy is really what you need. Set the goals, stay positive. Anything that's not positive is a waste of your time. Did you ever read the Secret or the Key? If not, read it. It does talk about people just like your family. You're not lazy. Just because you work in the home, does not mean that you don't work hard. Keep pushing forward, stay focused on your goals and reach them. Intime, your family will see that what you're doing, is putting you family in a better financial standing. Then, they will back off. Till then, hold you head up, stay focused on what you want and it will come.
To your Success,
Michelle
__________________
|
jazzfranklin
Member
Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 4
|
# Posted: 22 May 2008 09:23
Reply
Yep I have gone through this also,
Friends and Family not believing in you can be also used as your drive to prove them wrong, I have found that people around me have started to believe in what I'm doing more over time even without me making any serious big bucks from it. Even though they still don't understand how they start to respect what I'm doing simply from seeing how much time I am spending and how devoted I am to it. They now sort of accept it. Another funny point is that my mother has always said that I make money through "dodgey" ways though scamming people on the internet, because she says thats where everyone's making there money, through either scamming or porn. I do love her and I love her naive presumptions.
__________________
|
stefanoregano
Member
Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 2
|
# Posted: 22 May 2008 15:33
Reply
I wish I could "only" work full-time on my Internet Marketing business!
As it is, I work full-time (60+ hours) in a regular IT job, which pays the rent etc, then work an additional 30-40 hours per week on my Internet business. This is extremely hard to maintain and sometimes my wife struggles with the lack of attention that she receives (although I should add that she's normally amazing about it! ).
We're only able to maintain this by keeping the end goal in mind. Think about what a difference it will make once the money's coming in on a regular basis. Our plan is to outsource a large amount of the daily grind (read "The 4 Hour Work Week" for more on this) so that the money starts making a difference straight away.
In your situation, I would suggest that you do your best to not let the comments sink in (which I know is really hard to do) but keep the end result in mind. Try taking a bit of time each day to seek out examples of people who are making a good living from the home and keep them in mind when you're feeling under pressure. Then, once the money is coming in at a steady rate, use some of it to pay for things like a cleaner for your house, so that you don't need to waste valuable "earning" time on these tasks. The end result will be great looking house, a good extra income and a happy you!
__________________
|
Newbie Shield
Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 2069
|
# Posted: 26 May 2008 08:15
Reply
Hi pjworker,
I feel for you and I've heard of this problem many times before.
I don't know how clean you keep your house but you may need to step it up a little. The other solution is to receive decent monthly checks. I would call a $5k/mo check a decent check.
Until that time, you may have to mumble something like "Well, hopefully when I make $5k/mo, you'll stop accusing me of being lazy" or something like that.
Otherwise, if your monthly income is improving each month, you might point that out and mention that you're working hard to continue earning more and more.
Whatever they say to that is up to them since you've done all you can.
Still, at least keep a clean and smooth running house in the mean time or you'll get criticized.
Unfortunately, some people only notice results. It's too bad that they can't see or value efforts.
Good luck,
~Newbie Shield~
|
PMHayes
Member
Joined: 23 Apr 2008
Posts: 129
|
# Posted: 29 May 2008 05:46
Reply
People with small minds often are unable to make the paradigm shift required to embrace any non-traditional method of earning a living. It's not a matter of putting it into words they can understand. It' more like they speak Russian and you speak English. They don't have the capacity to grasp your reasoning. My advice, as others have stated, "save your breath." Instead, show them by building a business that makes more working at home than you could ever have made in a traditional JOB. You'll be laughing all the way to the bank.
__________________
|
annadenise
Member
Joined: 9 Mar 2008
Posts: 293
|
# Posted: 29 May 2008 16:57
Reply
I am lucky at my house, my husband assists me in anyway he can. I even have my kids (18 and 20) assisting with one of them. I,too, work fulltime as a manager at a large ins. co. where I make a very good income I need to match, but hope to retire very early from that! What works the best, as stated in several posts above, is for your business' to start earning a decent profit.
This is off topic, but my concern is when I am able to just work at home is getting adequate health insurance for my family. My husband has some serious ongoing health issues so that will be a top priority for us.
__________________
|
Esther Lijkwan
Member
Joined: 29 May 2008
Posts: 2
|
# Posted: 29 May 2008 20:54
Reply
Hi PJworker,
I understand what you are talking about, I get the same remarks sometimes as well, but I still think that a lot of people just don't get it. They just don't really know what it is all about and since they don't really care to find out either, you don't have to worry about them at all.
Of course that is sometimes easier said then done, but if your husband is supporting you and if this is what you love doing, then your are on the right path to success.
Everyone is perfect and every one has the right to decide exactly what they want in life, that is your birth right given, so never let other people discourage you from your dreams.
Just try to stay focused on what you love about what you do and let the negative vibration for those that want to feel that way.
If they don't want to change, you can't help them for sure.
Keep up the good work, girl
Bye
Esther Lijkwan
__________________
[URL= http://www.web20trafficsite.com]Wanna Learn How I Attract Like Minded And Highly Motivated People To My Business![/URL] Do You Find Me Attractive? :-) |
happywife
Joined: 14 Aug 2007
Posts: 1058
|
# Posted: 30 May 2008 00:59
Reply
Esther,
It looks like you have an extra space or two in your signature link that is keeping it from working properly. [url=http://]
__________________
|
tbadly
Member
Joined: 4 Jun 2008
Posts: 23
|
# Posted: 10 Jun 2008 11:35
Reply
Do the opinions of these people really matter to you? I would guess that the people who care most about you understand your situation and are supportive of your efforts. Sometimes you just need to ignore others' opinions.
__________________
|
(?)
